A few ideas in this post are from the novel The Fountainhead. Want to know more? Find and read it. Disclaim: Other ideas are mine, I do not copy them from any sources.
C’mon, everything we do is genuinely for us, why do we keep hiding it under the label “for others”?
Just take a classic example of “do for others” that is helping others. Let me ask you: How can you help someone without feeling happy but instead feeling uncomfortable or even despise that person? State that you “help” them but actually you are helping yourself, by making yourself happier. Why not be honest, why hide it away? Does the word “for others” sound noble? Just stop doing that, stop hypnotizing your mind that you always have to do something for others. It turns out, negatively, the more you attach others to yourself, the more you feel sad and difficult and miserable. Me is an example.
I have many cool ideas (I see so) but I normally cannot convey them probably to others (1) and so they (2) don’t think my ideas are feasible. Well each of us is good at a distinct field, so we must cooperate to complete a chain. For example, an architect draws a blue-print, an engineer execute it under the help of thousands of workers. The architect cannot work alone to build anything, so as the engineer and the workers. That’s why my ideas cannot alone do anythings, I need to explain it to others (3) whenever I need cooperation.
See, three times “others” appears are three times it makes things harder to achieve.
Working with others is difficult enough, but as I want to make my ideas come truth sometimes I need to do so. But as I present my idea to others, some people take it as granted and think they have all rights to do with mine, including changing it. I was angry at them, yelling at them, and they started to “fbewfbwejfkn” me (“fbewfbwejfkn” is scary and negatively powerful), finally lowered my pride. Yay, I was changed, sounds good right? IT IS THE TRUTH THAT I LOST MYSELF AND AM FINDING IT BACK.
Want to stay away from “for others” now? Don’t be scared of it, attaching to others is a normal activity, just someone is making it ugly. Also, it is unavoidable as we are human beings and we live in society, as the above example, we need others to build anything. However, we can minimize it by keeping our minds inviolable and making it beautiful by only attaching to who has the values we love.
That is mentally-related. In physical forms, luckily, we are civilizing. “Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage’s whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.” (Ayn Rand’s quote). We are building private houses, wearing distinctly. Good enough.
If this process does not work sometimes, don’t worry because it’s all happening outside, physically. Remember to be true to yourself, know all you do is for you, don’t run after another and there it is, you can do the process mentally without trying anything.